A softening happens in this transition
Right in my body’s middle
Seems appropriate here at midlife
This softening is spoken of with angst
I’ll admit, I’ve hurled words of frustration
At this gift of a body
My softness doesn’t speak to years of bearing life within
It speaks of all the years ahead where that hope is forever gone
It speaks of 365 days since...
When watching the calendar pages no longer means holding my breath
But instead mark the official end
Of a fertility era that never was so
In the world’s estimation
But God has a different understanding
of bodies, of fertility, and of time
Frutifulness from Him
Can take place even within a barren womb
This ending - This transition - This softening
It’s a new beginning
A loosening of the armor within my body
And encasing my heart
It’s a new era that can still be life-giving
Fruitful
I look behind and I look ahead
And I am grateful.
Grateful for the cycles that ebbed and flowed
That brought heartache and pain
That have now quietly curtseyed
I am most grateful for the One
Whose plan is always better than my own
Who grafts me to His vine
And who allows me to bear fruit
In His seasons
There’s a peaceful calm
Dancing with the anxious confusion
That bubbles up unexpectedly
In this new softening
I open my hands and my heart
To receive
Welcome my body
Welcome my soul
To becoming Velveteen
